In this entry, I refer to my real-life daughter as Brigid, which is not her actual name. I've been having connection problems and now am way behind. Sorry for the delay-
Sometimes I have dreams that I have a son named Tully. This has been going on for years, and these dreams about Tully are very realistic. I used to dream just that he was my son, my youngest, and the dream never really got into where he came from, but in the last few dreams (over the course of the last year or so), it was more like he was adopted.
I wanted to share this dream with you because it was so... potent. All the details were there, and no weird dream-stuff or anything out of place. I didn't even realize I was dreaming until I woke up.
I sat in the hallway right outside my daughter ("Brigid")'s preschool classroom, waiting to pick her up from school. Tully sat next to me. We had just adopted him, he's roughly 4-6, and he's autistic. which is new to this dream. And god, who cares if he's autistic, he's my Tully and that is just a minor detail to me. But he is autistic, and he's never been there before, and he's tuning everything out because he's a little overwhelmed. Brigid's teacher sees me there, and comes out, talking to me, and says, "Oh, who is this?" (because we haven't told anyone about Tully yet.)
I say, "Who is who?" pretending that I have no idea what she's talking about. "You know who I am."
She's amused and says, "No... who's that?"
I say, "What are you talking about? I'm the only one here." I'm doing this as a game, because I know if I try to introduce Tully the ordinary way, he will zone out and hide away because he is feeling overwhelmed. I'm trying to get him to speak up for himself on his own, on his own decision to do so. Then maybe he will feel more in control and able to handle it.
She catches onto this game, and says, "Are you sure? I could have sworn I saw somebody else."
"No, there's no one else. Just me," I say. "Perhaps you saw a ghost."
Tully starts to laugh and says, "It's ME!"
"See, now, I just heard something! Didn't you hear something just now?" she says.
"What? No. No, I didn't hear anything," I say, grinning.
Tully is laughing, giggling now, and he says, "No, it's ME, it's ME!"
I say, "Oh my goodness, where did you come from?" More giggles. "Are you the ghost?"
He jumps up. "I'm not a ghost! I'm Tully!"
"Are you sure? How do we know that you're real?" I say.
He says, "I'm Tully I'm Tully I'm TULLY!"
I give him a playful yet extremely skeptical look, and say, "Is it okay if I make SURE you're not a ghost, then?"
He's giggling and says ok and I very carefully reach out my finger as if to touch him. Then I act all scared and snatch my finger back, because I can see that he loves this game. Then I reach out my finger slowly slowly and then I bravely kind of poke him-
and he disappears. Just disappears. Just *gone*.
I look around shocked, and the teacher looks around shocked,
And I wake up.
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Sometimes I have dreams that I have a son named Tully. This has been going on for years, and these dreams about Tully are very realistic. I used to dream just that he was my son, my youngest, and the dream never really got into where he came from, but in the last few dreams (over the course of the last year or so), it was more like he was adopted.
I wanted to share this dream with you because it was so... potent. All the details were there, and no weird dream-stuff or anything out of place. I didn't even realize I was dreaming until I woke up.
I sat in the hallway right outside my daughter ("Brigid")'s preschool classroom, waiting to pick her up from school. Tully sat next to me. We had just adopted him, he's roughly 4-6, and he's autistic. which is new to this dream. And god, who cares if he's autistic, he's my Tully and that is just a minor detail to me. But he is autistic, and he's never been there before, and he's tuning everything out because he's a little overwhelmed. Brigid's teacher sees me there, and comes out, talking to me, and says, "Oh, who is this?" (because we haven't told anyone about Tully yet.)
I say, "Who is who?" pretending that I have no idea what she's talking about. "You know who I am."
She's amused and says, "No... who's that?"
I say, "What are you talking about? I'm the only one here." I'm doing this as a game, because I know if I try to introduce Tully the ordinary way, he will zone out and hide away because he is feeling overwhelmed. I'm trying to get him to speak up for himself on his own, on his own decision to do so. Then maybe he will feel more in control and able to handle it.
She catches onto this game, and says, "Are you sure? I could have sworn I saw somebody else."
"No, there's no one else. Just me," I say. "Perhaps you saw a ghost."
Tully starts to laugh and says, "It's ME!"
"See, now, I just heard something! Didn't you hear something just now?" she says.
"What? No. No, I didn't hear anything," I say, grinning.
Tully is laughing, giggling now, and he says, "No, it's ME, it's ME!"
I say, "Oh my goodness, where did you come from?" More giggles. "Are you the ghost?"
He jumps up. "I'm not a ghost! I'm Tully!"
"Are you sure? How do we know that you're real?" I say.
He says, "I'm Tully I'm Tully I'm TULLY!"
I give him a playful yet extremely skeptical look, and say, "Is it okay if I make SURE you're not a ghost, then?"
He's giggling and says ok and I very carefully reach out my finger as if to touch him. Then I act all scared and snatch my finger back, because I can see that he loves this game. Then I reach out my finger slowly slowly and then I bravely kind of poke him-
and he disappears. Just disappears. Just *gone*.
I look around shocked, and the teacher looks around shocked,
And I wake up.
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1 comments:
Wow. I always wonder how we surprise ourselves in dreams with radical twists of events so unpredictable, despite the fact that we are the creator as well as the spectator in the dream.
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